What to Do when “They” Make Unseemly Remarks

“Gay is such a good word for such a bad thing”, someone had said to me during a commute. I was startled, because I had singled out this person as one of the “enlightened” ones. Given how I saw this person, his opinion was supposed to be in sync with my opinions. Especially in the context of homosexuality. He was supposed to be one of those people who believe being gay is neither good nor bad, it simply is.

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It turns out the joke is on anyone who expects a kind of understanding from another person. You may see your sexuality to be a trait as benign as the complexion of your skin. But when you begin to cross the boundaries that begins the mind of another person, diminish your expectations so you free yourself the horror of being disappointed by it.

It’s natural to expect things from people, especially those we have accorded trust. To think that what resides in our head resides in their head. That they know what we know. This assumption is the root of heartache, uproot it every time you sense it sprout. Always start from a mental place that says they don’t know. This way anytime they prove they know it comes across as a pleasant surprise.

Take heart. You live in a world that falls short in understanding your peculiarity. A world that somehow sees you as remarkable. Regardless of what label is placed on their remark what counts ultimately is the nature of things and what you make of it. If you have been made “bad”, take cue from pop star extraordinaire, Rihanna. Be perfectly good at it.


You are Awesome


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