A reader sent a mail seeking advice about making a decision to tell his parents about his queer relationship. I can see why this reader sent a mail seeking advice even though I don’t count myself as a giver of advice (i guess it comes with being the author of a blog that has received a fair amount of attention).
Now, my initial impulse was to scream no… Don’t tell them! But, after considering it, I began to ask why not?
I direct this post to the reader and those who are interested in letting their parents know about their queer relationship. (Keep in mind that this is beyond coming out to your parents. It’s coming out to them and giving them the gist of where you might like to spend your honeymoon).
I think It’s normal to harbour feelings of guilt when withholding important parts of our lives from people we care about the most. And, there is always that yearning to make our connections with those we care about deeper. However, in venturing into the minds of those we care about, we must keep in mind their belief/opinion with respect to certain topics.
If your parents are liberal and you are certain their liberty extends to sexuality then giving them a gist may not be such a bad idea. If they tend to be conventional, believe in the status quo and the traditional way of doing things then you may have to tread with caution.
Love is suppose to be unconditional. And, we expect our parents to accord us this ideal kind of love. However, beliefs have a way of caging minds into modes of behaviour that may not speak love. We might imagine that our parents may be immune to the effects of beliefs and their love for us will conquer all but may end up shocked at how conditional their love may turn out to be.
The summary of my advice is this: work out the nature of your parents, the type of relationship you share with them, and decide accordingly.
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